OOMAN

Women like silent men. They think they're listening.

~Marcel Achard, Quote, 4 November 1956

Sure God created man before woman. But then you always make a rough draft before the final masterpiece.

~Author Unknown

Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.

~Bill Maher

The two women exchanged the kind of glance women use when no knife is handy.

~Ellery Queen

A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction.

~Oscar Wilde

Jesus is the wisest man I know, he never married and his only rumoured girlfriend was a whore, it doesn't get better than that!
~Author Unknown

 

Well I did say that I would be under the "ooman dem" tail (no pun intended) this year, didn't I? Well it seems I can't run around the issue any longer eh. Firstly because it seems people keep bothering me about women, some women keep bothering me, and I did promise to put them in their place this year, and I just came from breakfast this morning round by Likkle Dread who insisted on telling the crowd and trying to get them to believe that I am the biggest "gyal-ist" in Paradise and MoBay. Ironic (Imagine none a dem big bottom girl weh mi ever big up not even gimmi a smile nor a blessing)... seeing that I used to try to get his daughter's attention, a one Miss Lisa Thorpe, but "bwoy" Rasta lose out in the Gideon eh... such is life... I think Likkle Dread is mocking me, what do you think? Anyway, this week I don't have a specific topic or agenda but It can't hurt to talk about women eh, I love them, you love, them, even women seem to love them too these days. Which reminds me of a bit of home made comedy the other day... I saw a Rasta man psssseeeeeeeeeeeeeting down a woman and running a few lines, when she made an attempt to Boof the Ras and tell him she was a lesbian, to which he humorously replied "Me too, a only ooman alone me f---." I don't if you find it funny but I nearly died laughing.

Before going any further, I want everyone to know, these women articles are meant for all women not just some, everyone. "The batter creps, the lawyers, the doctors, the lesbians, the freaks, the bisexuals, the school girls, the go-gos, the "ho's", the thuggee thuggee, the miss hitch up pon corners, miss baby madda, miss love bun weed and parro, miss skets, miss natty, miss Ras, miss bank teller, miss gwaany gwaany, miss goodas, miss video light, everybody mi a talk to unnu... all ooman." So that little anecdote I think is a nice launching point for the article, it shows us how the dynamic and relations and the interplay between men and women has vastly changed over the years. Firstly, when last you had a female companion, that was your "parri," you just jam, reason and such, without the "buy mi a..." coming up. When last did you meet a woman who could role with the crew, or could contribute to your creative process, or to help you build or to assist you positively... Jah know... I don't want to seem like a reprobate but... I can't tell when last. How about you? If you have anything to say on this man and woman issue you can e-mail me and tell me eh.

And have you seen the rampant changes in how things proceed between the sexes... open barter. Have you seen all the schoolers who look like dancehall queens? Have you been meeting as many lesbians or part time lesbians (bi-sexual) as I have? Have you seen the change in calibre of women, most of them these days seem to me flakey, ditzy, unaware, non-progressive, unconscious, vain, materialistic, acquisitive, lazy, concern more about clothes, money, fashion, hype cars and hype man and being the hottest. Like the line from one of my current favourite song The Roots' Seed 2.0, "She wants platinum ice and gold, she wants a whole lot of supm to fold, if your an obstacle, she just drop yuh cold 'cause, one monkey don't star the show." Now think on those words, it's the truest thing. The way I see it these days, I don't even try to talk to women, because right now I'm into the business of building my little empire and pursuing dreams, so I don't have money to squander on frolicking and chasing skirts, my money will not be at the hair dresser shop, and it won't be spent fuelling the suss spots where women congregate to build negative vibes and discuss "who fah man have money and who fah man nah seh nutten etc and who deh wid who." The father up above know, I'm afraid of these women now. No reciprocity no give and take... just take take take take take and take from as many men as you can.

There are even more gender, man and woman issues to peruse and to examine... this article won't be able to look at the porn schoolers, the rumoured freak show and circus out at Freeport, the rise of lesbianism, our attitudes to prostitution, sex and the church, Rastafari and sexuality (matters of the flesh yuh know), the early blooming TV generation, the men who have opted to become women, the homosexuals and why women befriend them, the age of consent, the blurring gender fashion and such. Sexuality in Mobay and women in Mobay on a whole needs to be explored and the Montegonian will soon touch (again no pun intended) that for you.

In closing I go big up some women still who hold the order for me... well firstly My Mother an number one fan, then Laurayne who still call mi from Trinidad every week, Chip Chip who lively up every dance for me and one of the few women who will buy me a drink and see that "mi sort out," Mel... Mammi Noodle... "who nuh stop from harass me seh mi nuh put her in the paper" and insist on call me BoBo Tickle... (sigh), Monique Melbourne and Tanya... true we can reason all the while, Rash... who insists I call her Mrs Pessoa, Tess... for the support, Cherry who is ever supportive, Natalie... true yuh cane row mi natty free (but mi go rush you soon eh), Poopy mi likkle dwata... And that young lady who saw me the other day on Strand Street and made my day by telling me one of my articles made her cry... Cassandra... Soso (even though you gimmi cold shoulder all the while)... Shorty... Michelle...Crystal and Ms. Pretty Coolie Girl 'cause unnu ever look just too nice and light up mi day and all the beautiful women who pass through Likkle Dread restaurant in the morning .

Yannick Nesta Pessoa
http://yahnyk.blogspot.com
yannickpessoa@yahoo.com

PS. Ramon (EMPIRE) don't bad mind me true mi big up the ooman dem eh... and watch mi nah go get none.